Can’t Buy Me Love
Cover of the Feb/March 2006 issue of Plenty.
The cover of the latest issue of Plenty brings to mind why being environmentally and socially progressive can put a crimp in your love life. Years ago, I had a beau who took my granola-crunching ways1 as a personal affront—I mean, he was literally offended that I didn’t eat meat and my jacket was made of pleather. (This was before I learned about the deleterious effects of PVC2, but I’m still holding out hope that the erstwhile jacket was made of polyurethane, which has less of an impact on the environment. Did I mention that being a tree-hugger can be hell on your wardrobe, too?)
Suffice to say, that relationship didn’t last very long.
Still, being married to me has at least one advantage.
(Scene: On the PATH into Manhattan)
Husband: A friend asked me what I was getting you for Valentine’s Day.
Me: Whad’ja say?
Husband: I told her you didn’t believe in Valentine’s Day and didn’t want anything. So I have it easy.
Me: Did you also tell her it’s a trumped-up holiday built on the backs of child slaves and other human-rights violations?
Husband: Uh … no. (Twitches nervously; goes back to reading paper.)
So I hear you say, “Hey Witchiquita, where are you getting all these facts and figures from, yo?” If my master’s in bio-journalism isn’t enough to convince you of my research-fu, i.e., I know, at the very least, to get independent verification from myriad credible sources and I’m not just downing the Kool-Aid, would that fine publication known as Time and their legion of fact-checkers hold enough sway?
Watch this HILARIOUS Flash animation, as well. It had me LOL’ing like a hyena doped up on nitrous oxide.
And don’t let my grinchiness spoil your day if it’s a calendar date that has meaning for you. After all, love is stronger than witchcraft.
Yeah, GET A ROOM why dont’cha? (Waves cane.)
Crazy kids.
1Although admittedly back then I was lukewarm and mostly lazy. BUT I’VE SEEN THE LIGHT (AGAIN)!
2 Bill Walsh, founder of the Healthy Building Network wrote in Grist that “the weight of available evidence tells us that … it may well be the single most important source of many of the worst toxic chemicals plaguing the global environment today.”
Andre said,
February 10, 2006 at 7:07 am
Hi.
The flash animation was good for a chuckle. I found the interaction between you and your husband funnier though. Parang ako at yung misis ko.
Lastly, great site. Love your illustrations.
Cara said,
February 11, 2006 at 3:32 pm
We don’t do Valentine’s Day either, but not for quite the same reasons. ;-) Can I wish you a happy Tuesday instead?
Kristen Andersen said,
February 12, 2006 at 5:52 pm
Love the site and your illustrations!
Yes, in the past having “green” beliefs was hell on the wardrobe. Thankfully times have changed and new designers like Stewart+Brown, Edun and Loomstate have created “design led” conscious clothing that appeals to both the environmentally minded and mainstream alike. I put together a list of some of the most exciting designers and clothing companies offering sustainable, organic and/or fair-trade clothing:
http://www.kristenandersen.com/recommends/fashion.html
Enjoy!