Kaboom!
Photo by Banana Bay Marina
It drives me ape-batty that despite being the ripe ol’ age of 27, I still occasionally wake up to your average teenager’s scream-inducing nightmare: An angry, attitude-throwing pimple that would sooner cut you than look at you, so what’cha gonna do about it, punk? Blame losing the Punnett Square lottery, impetuous hormones, or the damaging heat and pollution of Manhattan in the summer (otherwise known as Satan’s last bacchanal on earth)—and believe you me, I blame ALL of them—but now and then a bulbous sac of pus rears its ugly head and decides it likes this place so much it’s going to move in. Sometimes it brings friends.
Over the weekend, I tried this youthening mask I read about on Care2.com, and found it pretty much had the same function and consistency of clay masks, which help sop up excess oil, while nourishing and hydrating troubled skin. (This is good because I have no idea where I can purchase clay in the offline world. Also, DIY clay masks sound like more trouble than they’re worth and my natural resting state tends towards inertness. We all have our burdens to shoulder.)
So at first I was all “Brewer’s yeast? What the deuce is Brewer’s yeast? Why are the brewers so elitist that they can’t use regular baking yeast?” (Apropos of nothing, years ago, my sister and I started a faux non-profit called Amnestyeast International, to liberate yeast from the horrors of baking and brewing. We had way too much time but, hey, it was better than running around blowing up 7-11s out of boredom.) Anyway, brewer’s yeast is basically the remains of unbridled yeast genocide and is rich in minerals, protein, and B-complex vitamins. You should be able to find Brewer’s yeast in the supplements aisle of any natural-food store, or even GNC.
Care2 tells you to let the flax seeds sit in water first, but I recommend boiling them straight off because otherwise all you’re going to get is very wet flax seeds. (Boiling it for a few minutes causes the seeds to burst and results in a gooey, almost syrupy gel.) A word of warning: the Brewer’s yeast smells DISGUSTING, plus you’ll feel like you’re spreading Marmite/Vegemite all over your face, but the mask dries quickly and you can almost feel your pores getting the life sucked out of them. (In a good way.) Rinsing your face with warm water afterward does leave your skin remarkably soft, as well.
I’ve read in a number of places that taking Brewer’s yeast orally gives you health benefits out the wazoo (especially for vegetarians), but even if you grew up imbibing Marmite like I did and EVEN if you get the “debittered” kind, I’d recommend mixing it in some milk or juice because otherwise your digestive system might pack up and join the circus. And that’s not a fate I’d wish on anyone.
