The Crust Cutter
Behold! The Crust Cutter! Another fine example of a product we don’t need but we’re somehow CONVINCED we need—facilitating not to simplify our lives, as it purports to, but to bog it down further, not unlike the stuck kitchen drawer you can never open because it’s been jammed to the brim with assorted kitchen gadgetry you never use, such as the tea-drip catcher, the spoon rest, the Can Pop opener, and the electric ice-cream scoop. They slice! They dice! They sing your kids lullabies and tuck them into bed with a cool, affection-witholding peck on their foreheads!
Help me, Obi-Wan …
thissinglespark said,
August 30, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Reminds me of that Tom Waits song “Step Right Up.” That man pegs our consumer zombie ways. As-tute.
Titsy McClure said,
August 30, 2006 at 2:26 pm
Hi. I used to read you on a certain blogging site. I sent your cat some loot when the infamous tail accident occured. ‘Twas a while ago.
You popped into my head on a whim and I googled you. Here you are. Glad you see your words and wit are still as flowing as ever.
:)
Mark Caserta said,
August 30, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Oh, come on! If i don’t buy that, i’ll have to pay someone to cut my crust. Do you have any idea how expensive labor is these days? ;)
Adelin said,
August 30, 2006 at 4:44 pm
The Can Pop opener really weirds me out.
Melissa said,
August 30, 2006 at 6:47 pm
I think the can pop opener is probably for the arthritic hands of people who own cats or dogs. Or maybe for some people who get icked out by any of the cat food juice getting on their fingers for even an instant.
Kanati said,
August 31, 2006 at 2:25 am
Looks like a brace of some kind! Who makes their own bread nowadays anyway? ;-p
pyewacket said,
September 1, 2006 at 1:51 pm
My favorite useless gadget is the strawberry huller. Really, just use the paring knife.
Brianne said,
September 2, 2006 at 5:46 am
But..it cuts off the crusts. Actually, since the bread I eat isn’t shaped like that I could use it to fit in with all the cool kids at recess.
Lou said,
September 2, 2006 at 11:20 am
You said it.. Crap we don’t need or will ever need.. Like the Potato Chip bag closer!
I wonder how some of this junk finds distribution when there is so much good
stuff out there that hasn’t!