This installment of the Carnival of the Green, organized by City Hippy and Triple Pundit, is dedicated to the memory of the victims of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. The sublime LA Green Living hosted last week and I will be passing on the flaming torch in slow motion, to the resonant drumming of “Chariots of Fire,” to Karavans on September 18.
ROLL UP, ROLL UP, ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls, for the stupendous, the magnificent, the peerless, the ONE and ONLY Carnival of the Green. What’s that, sir? How much does it cost? HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? Why, it will cost you, dear sir, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! That’s right, you heard it right here, ladies and gentlemen, keep your shirts on because you will spend exactly ZERO clams … nada buckaroos … zilch … ZIP … Schrodinger opened the box and the BOX WAS EMPTY! What’s the catch? There’s no catch! You wound me with your cynicism, suh! Right down to the belly of my soul. ‘CEPT I DON’T HAVE ONE! Nearly had you there, didn’t I? What did you say, madam? Yes, you in the very fetching blue silk hat. How long will we be here? Just one night, my friends. You will never see the likes of this carnival, this luminous line-up, this GALAXY OF STARS in its current incarnation ever again in this town! This is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY, ladies and gentlemen, so WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Step up, step up, hey no pushing, son, there’s plenty of room for everyone inside the tent, gather in, folks, gather on in …
Are you ready? SHHHHHH … we require complete silence now … do you hear that soft chugging in the background? Listen carefully, you can barely hear it. From the mists of time, 80 years ago to be exact, the steam engine made its last stand. Fantastic gas mileage, superb handling, almost zero emissions, and a whisper-quiet engine … hard to believe, huh?
GADZOOKS! Melissa Mansfield of LA Green Living reveals, in hushed tones, how her experience in house cleaning and moving preparations led her to believe that living a simpler life is both good for the environment and her mental health. All stunts are performed by a licensed professional so try this at home only AT YOUR OWN PERIL, boy and girls!
Here, Jenni Lukac from Triple Pundit sums up the ways the CORPORATE GIANT Skansas—over FIFTY-FEET TALL, ladies and gentlemen—is greening New York. Truly, it’s only her fair beauty that is keeping this savage beast at bay. Hey, kid, don’t poke the giant. You wanna get your head ripped off? It could SNAP YOU LIKE A TWIG and USE YOU AS A TOOTHPICK!
Aaron Newton from Groovy Green presents not one, not two, but THREE posts. He reviews The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight. Then, he GROWS HIS OWN TEA! Amazing! Finally, he pulls back the curtain on the Eco-Friendly Bridesmaid! You better cover your kids’ eyes for this one, moms and dads.
The Good Human, who wanders where angels fear to tread, suggests some eco-friendly school projects for teachers and parents! He also asks a deep, dark, searching question, one that will have you tossing and turning for many nights to come … I’m getting CHILLS just thinking about it … how FAR are you willing to go on the Eat Local challenge?
Look over there! Laura Lynn Klein of Organic Authority recaps the hippest Emmy “swag” party in LA the Ultimate Green Room. I swear my heart stopped beating right there, folks … I hope no one in this room has a weak ticker…
Green is the New Red looks at the mainstream press covers so-called “eco-terrorism.” And then, rising from the depths of his mausoleum in Moscow’s Red Square, Lenin himself chastises his European comrades for “bleat[ing] about naughty, wicked, selfish Americans.” Hang on to your crucifixes and Bibles, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as we gaze into a doorway to fiery Hades itself!
Meanwhile, a video by hardcore band Rise Against got censored for showing the reality of environmental destruction and abuse of animals. Scary stuff, ladies and gentlemen, scary stuff.
And over here, in this corner, Camden Kiwi decides NOT TO GO TO NAPLES! UN. BELIVE. ABLE. Can you see me sputtering? Because I’m sputtering all over my bow-tie here, ladies and gentlemen.
And at Greener Magazine, Harlan Weikle talks about the Attica rebellion, 35 years later.
It’s time to put on those special safety goggles you picked up at the door, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. The exotic Deirdre Helfferich, all the way from the Ester Republic, wants to GENERATE SOLAR POWER! You saw it here FIRST, folks!
Wanna save the earth AND your wallet? It defies all natural laws but Money and Values shows you IT CAN BE DONE when you SHARE A CAR! Young man, will you and this other gentleman please carry this very lovely lady outside for some fresh air? I think the excitement got too much for her! Happens all the time here, folks …
Now over here, Scott Smith of Green Thinkers regales you with talk about 100 percent recycled bean-bag chairs! It will put the fear for God in you RIGHT THERE.
Elsa Mary of The Greener Side now describes what it was like to SHAKE HANDS with Congressional hopeful Jerry McNerney, the fella who is trying to beat the seemingly unbeatable Rep. Pombo (R)! What a gal, ladies and gentlemen, what a gal.
Sally Kniedel of Veggie Revolution writes about the mass extinction of wildlife happening around the globe and how we can help to turn things around with simple dinner-table activism. I don’t know if this is even LEGAL!
Look here, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Jennifer Killpack-Knutsen says goodbye to her energy-wasting fridge. I can hardly believe my eyes what she’s doing … HOW she’s doing it. She’s the eighth wonder of the world, right here, ladies and gentlemen. A bona fide NATIONAL TREASURE.
And if your heart hasn’t given out yet, Al Tepper over at CityHippy is using his new exclusive “EveryDay Green” series of posts over at The Ecologist blog to develop an Eco-Footprint Toolkit for everyday folks to use to go, well, everyday green. But he needs your help to create this invaluable mainstream resource!
And now, a real special treat, our pièce de résistance, as the frogs say … the horrifying, the fearsome, the HARROWING creature from the depths of man’s darkest imagination, the EGRESS! Right this way, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, right this way.