Open Letter
Photo by John Clark/Getty Images
Dear World,
J’ADORE being told what to do, so DO please send me e-mails and blog comments that tell (not ask, mind) me to post about your wonderful organization that is just BURSTING with the explosive goodness of a kajillion sparkling gumdrops. Better yet, INSTRUCT me to link to your blog/Web site/MySpace profile etc. because you just know that I will be overwhelmed, nay, CONSUMED, by your scintillating insights that I can only glance intermittently at my screen for fear that my brain will implode from witnessing your godlike glory. (Sometimes you beg, which I must admit gives me a secret thrill deep within my monkey-monkey underpants. I never knew your non-inclusion in a list of someone’s personal online faves was so detrimental to your eggshell self-image, mon petit chou! FORGIVE ME!)
Remember, my sweet, that good manners make the holy trifecta of Baby Jesus, Baby Buddha, and Baby Mohammad cry and make boom boom in their blessed diapers. Netiquette? Bah, I say. BAH! Also, FIE!
And yes, yes, yes, it says “Witch” up there, but DEAREST, it’s only because I never really learned to spell.
Beaucoup kisses,
Me
P.S. In case your sarcasm detector is busted, please do the exact opposite of what this letter says.
Chelee said,
January 31, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Hee Hee Hee!
Good for you!
Kristine said,
January 31, 2007 at 12:22 pm
I love it.
Dustywheat said,
January 31, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I was wondering why you never posted anything I sent…
;)
Kamrin said,
January 31, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Love it!
jerusha said,
January 31, 2007 at 5:49 pm
you’re awesome. :)
{ no sarcasm detector required }