Yesterday, as I was racing off to my community garden to get the new key—yes, we got it back!—I whizzed by a woman sitting on the steps of her building, smoking. Ordinarily, I just scrunch up my face, hold my breath, and carry on, but this time I did a double-take when I saw the baby in the stroller next to her. Now, I try not to be a know-it-all wiseass in public, but should I have said something, especially with all that we know about secondhand smoking now? What would you have done, short of calling Social Services?
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Megan said,
June 7, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I know what you mean…It frustrates me when I see a person driving next to me throw a cigerette out the window…and then as they drive by I see their children sitting in the backseat…no doubt getting ALL the smoke when the windows are open.
But I don’t say anything. At least I wouldn’t to strangers. To someone I knew, I would. No question.
It frustrates me enough when my friends smoke - just because I don’t want to see them with issues down the road - but adults know that - they know they should stop, so I don’t say much. BUT when they have kids, they can’t just hurt themselves anymore, they’re hurting others.
Thankfully our town has gone “smoke free” in all restaurants & bars! So that makes it easier to go out (no smoking or non..it’s all non!).
Mel Rimmer said,
June 10, 2007 at 2:32 am
I don’t think there’s anything you can say that will make a difference. There are probably all kinds of witty and clever things you could have said that would have made you feel superior, but I can never think of those kinds of things (except sometimes about an hour too late), and anyway, what would be the point?
Also, I’ve been in situations when I’ve been out with my kids (some of whom look fine but have autism), and I’ve had the day from hell, and there’s a whole bunch of good reasons why I’m doing something that looks outrageous, and then some busy-body makes a sharp comment and I’m about this close to screaming or committing assault or something. So I never make interfering comments to strangers. How do you know she hadn’t just lost her job, held her best-friend’s hand as she died, or left her abusive husband, and then, because it was that sort of a day, she’d bought her first packet of fags in ten years and smoked just one because otherwise she’d have broken down sobbing in the street? OK - that’s probably not what happened, but if it IS then one “witty” comment could push the poor dear right over the edge. And if it ISN’T, if she just habitually smokes around her kid and she doesn’t care, then one witty comment ain’t gonna do any good. So either way, I’d hold my tongue.
I think Thumper’s dad gave good advice - if you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
kmkat said,
June 17, 2007 at 12:49 am
Maybe, just maybe, she was smoking outdoors because she doesn’t want to trap the smoke in her apartment. Maybe she is smoking outdoors to dilute it so her baby get little or none of it. Maybe. Here’s hoping…
Julieanne said,
June 26, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I would have been tempted to say, “Nice weather today, isn’t it? Hope your baby gets some fresh air soon!”