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Graphic by Computer Shopper

Here’s my contribution to the Earth Day media avalanche. I think it’s going to appear in a print issue of Computer Shopper, as well, in a few months, but, hey, get it for free now. Because you’re a unique and special snowflake who shouldn’t have to pay for anything. Ever.

Photo by Steampunk Workshop

Creative recycling at its finest. Is this the best thing since the Victorians realized that thoughts of England weren’t effective birth control? Yes, I think so.

Photo by John Clark/Getty Images

Dear World,

J’ADORE being told what to do, so DO please send me e-mails and blog comments that tell (not ask, mind) me to post about your wonderful organization that is just BURSTING with the explosive goodness of a kajillion sparkling gumdrops. Better yet, INSTRUCT me to link to your blog/Web site/MySpace profile etc. because you just know that I will be overwhelmed, nay, CONSUMED, by your scintillating insights that I can only glance intermittently at my screen for fear that my brain will implode from witnessing your godlike glory. (Sometimes you beg, which I must admit gives me a secret thrill deep within my monkey-monkey underpants. I never knew your non-inclusion in a list of someone’s personal online faves was so detrimental to your eggshell self-image, mon petit chou! FORGIVE ME!)

Remember, my sweet, that good manners make the holy trifecta of Baby Jesus, Baby Buddha, and Baby Mohammad cry and make boom boom in their blessed diapers. Netiquette? Bah, I say. BAH! Also, FIE!

And yes, yes, yes, it says “Witch” up there, but DEAREST, it’s only because I never really learned to spell.

Beaucoup kisses,
Me

P.S. In case your sarcasm detector is busted, please do the exact opposite of what this letter says.

(Part of my Green This House program.)

This is a common lure that printer manufacturers use on unsuspecting consumers—sell the hardware below market value (even if it means losing money), then rake in a continuous stream of profits through consumables such as toner and ink. In fact, the Wall Street Journal says that Hewlett-Packard makes more than two-thirds of its profits selling printer cartridges. (An average of 1.3 billion ink cartridges are sold each year, generating $30.1 billion in revenue in 2005.) Considering a color ink cartridge for my el cheapo $50 HP Deskjet costs over $20 and a black one $18, is it any wonder that cartridge-refill services are gaining in popularity, despite the obvious ire of companies such as HP and Lexmark?

My dad and I don’t have a lot in common—I’m still working on getting him to give up his SUV—but one trait solidifies our genetic bond: we’re both extremely cheap. He’s such a tightwad, in fact, that he became a stealth greenie entirely by accident, injecting off-brand ink back into his empty cartridges and saving them (and their potential replacements) from landfill purgatory, at 50 percent of the cost. Plus, it isn’t just the cartridges themselves that are an environmental polluter—printer firms have been incorporating small computer chips into their cartridges so that cartridges by other manufacturers can’t be used in a particular brand of printer. The chips also make refilling impossible because they can’t be reset, in a way almost reminiscent of “suicide seeds,” which in turn are such a repugnant idea that a special VIP section in hell has been reserved for the person who first suggested them. (The EU has banned the use of these smart chips.)

Being the klutz that I am, I suspected that DIYing this would render me a walking ink stain, so my little stingy (and hippie) heart leaped when I found out that Walgreens refills your empties. I had my black-ink cartridge pumped back full of ink for a little over $9—half of what HP was going to charge me. Walgreens offers a 100-percent satisfaction guarantee. And if you bring in the little cartridge baggie for reuse the next time you go in, you get 10 free digital photos. (The baggie was further slipped into a cardboard mailer, but I returned it to the guy at the counter for him to reuse.)

Although stories about mixed results abound, after a couple of test prints, I couldn’t tell the difference in quality, but then again, I’m not a stickler.

Other refill-station options include CartridgeWorld and OfficeMax, and if you prefer a more hands-on approach, a Google search will stand you in good stead.

Unless you really have to impress someone with your printouts (I can only think of outgoing docs and the like), use the draft mode on your printer preferences and save yourself some ink and/or toner by making your cartridges last twice or even three times as long. Double-sided printing will also cut down on paper waste, while providing a nice chunk of change over time that you can put to better use. Like catnip.

Dell is really slashing a path towards sustainability, or at least making strides in reducing technology’s gargantuan carbon footprint. The PC maker, which already announced free recycling of any Dell-branded products last June, has just announced a joint, global carbon-neutral initiative to offset the carbon dioxide produced when its customers rev up their computers. Starting in February, the program, called “Plant a Tree for Me,” will allow Dell purchasers to make a donation that will be used by two partner non-profits, The Conservation Fund and Carbonfund.org, to plant trees in sustainably managed forests. For $2 per laptop and $6 per desktop, you’ll get to offset (or neutralize) the climate impact of your PC for a period of three years. After that, you’re on your own.

Why plant trees? From the press release:

Native trees and forests help fight climate change as part of their natural processes. As they grow, trees absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and convert it into oxygen. In addition to trapping the dangerous gases that cause climate change, these new forests help to protect water quality, restore wildlife habitat and enhance public recreation areas.

Considering we pay $20 per month to offset our household’s emissions, the donation amounts seem a bit on the low side (in my non-expert, math-challenged view), but Dell provides the following explanation for its figures:

Donation amounts are based on expected average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions from the production of electricity needed to power the systems over three years—for a notebook .42 tons and for a desktop 1.26 tons. The cost of the carbon offset is $4.75 per ton. It costs approximately $6.31 per tree planted. On average a tree will sequester 1.33 tons of CO2 over 70 years through the program. Thus, the offset donation required to neutralize the carbon impact for notebooks is $2 and $6 for desktops.

All you’ll have to do to take advantage of the new program is simply add the donation to your online shopping cart while you are configuring your system. BOO-YAH, YOU’VE BEEN OFFSET!

This doesn’t give you a Get Out of Jail Free card for those marathon World of Warcraft sessions, however, or for downloading movies on the down-low all day and night. You shouldn’t sweat the small stuff, but it’s always better to reduce first, then offset whatever you can’t.

Further resources:
1. “Do carbon offsets live up to their promise?” Christian Science Monitor

An estimated 220 tons of electronic waste is dumped in landfills and incinerators every year in the U.S. alone. Improper e-waste disposal means that toxic components, such as lead, mercury, and flame retardants, can leach inside landfills and contaminate our ground water, land, and air. Already comprising 2 to 5 percent of the American municipal solid waste stream, the amount of harmful and birth-defect-causing toxins we expose ourselves to continue to rise rapidly. So, if you can’t donate your unwanted tech to a school or charity, strongly consider recycling them, instead. You can punch in your zip code at Earth911.org or My Green Electronics to find out where you recycle just about anything, from dead car batteries to a junky fax machine. We even found a place to recycle our recalcitrant cordless phone, for free, which made our little cheapskate hearts leap for joy.

I upgraded the blog to the current Wordpress 2.0.5 last night, a process that has so far proceeded without incident—do let me know, however, if anything is broken. I’ve also added MiniPosts, which allows me to throw up interesting links without explication, so I’d appreciate feedback on whether you like the feature or if you’d rather share fish biscuits with a convicted felon on a creepy island that’s not the island you crash-landed on MIGHTY MOSES WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS SHOW than see it again. Will pushbutton linkfesting make me a lazier blogger? Undoubtedly, yes.

Gadgets like this—a USB-powered doohicky you plunge into your soil and then connect to a PC to figure out your plants’ needs—leave me ambivalent. One side of my brain thinks, “Great! I don’t have to think no more! Brainpower is SO overrated!” The other goes, “But … I can just stick my finger in the soil to tell if my plant needs water, and if it looks leggy and yellow that’s pretty much a good indication that it needs more sun.”

Then there is a little something gardeners and farmers have been using for millenia: if it’s dead, you’re screwing up, so whatever it is you’re doing, for the love of all that is good and holy, STOP IT.

I’m increasingly of the mind that personal technology is cluttering our lives, rather than being the panacea so often touted. $49.95 can’t buy common sense, y’all. In short, a fool and his money are soon parted.

Photo by Kelly Ryerson/Getty Images

From the Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS): “A group of leading scientists find that unless steps are taken to slow global warming, several states in the Northeast could have climates similar to those of the modern-day South.”

Two emissions scenarios were postulated by the Northeast Climate Impacts Assessment (NECIA), a collaboration between UCS and a team of independent scientists from universities across the Northeast and the nation. The first: if we continue to rely on energy sources that produce high levels of heat-trapping gas (e.g., coal and oil); the second: if we shift to clean and renewable energy to power our economy.

While the two emissions scenarios lead to similar consequences in early decades, the report finds the scenarios lead to starkly different outcomes as children born today reach middle-age. The projections analyze the impacts in 30 year increments: 2010-2039, 2040-2069, and 2070-2099.

Average annual temperatures. Under the higher emissions path, temperatures are projected to increase 6.5-12.5°F by the end of the century. An increase of 3.5-6.5°F is projected on the lower path.

Extreme heat days in cities. By the end of the century, many Northeast cities can expect 30 or more days over 90°F under the lower emissions scenario, and 60 or more days per year under the higher emissions scenario. Currently, Northeast cities experience one or two days per summer over 100°F. This number could increase to three to nine days under lower emissions and 14 to 28 days per year under higher emissions.

Less snow. Across the Northeast, the number of days with snow on the ground will be reduced by 50 percent in the higher emissions scenario, but only by 25 percent under the lower scenario. More winter precipitation will fall as rain. Both projections will likely have implications for winter recreation and tourism in the region.

Droughts. Droughts in the region are projected to be much more frequent on the higher emissions path.

Extreme precipitation events. Under both emissions scenarios, more frequent and more intense heavy rainfall events are expected.

“The Northeast’s economy and lifestyle is built around the seasonal cycles—pleasant summers, winter recreational opportunities, and iconic fall foliage,” said report co-lead Katharine Hayhoe, Research Associate Professor in the Dept. of Geosciences at Texas Tech University. “Fortunately, the worst consequences of global warming can be avoided by reducing our emissions starting today.”

(Emphasis is mine.)

Update: The West isn’t immune to this, of course.

Related articles:
1. Lick Global Warming
2. The Canary Project
3. Kids Starting to Feel the Heat
4. It’s Getting Hot In Here: Act Now

Online resources:
1. Undo It
2. StopGlobalWarming.org
3. An Inconvenient Truth

You may not know it, but households across the globe are infested with vampires. Energy vampires, that is. Taking the form of everyday household appliances (psst, your TV is one of them), their nasty pointed teeth are plunged deep into your wall socket, sucking up power all day and all night, even when they’ve been turned off. Other sleeper agents of the electric undead that consume 1,000 kilowatt hours a year per household while in standby mode: your toaster, coffeemaker, hair dryer, PC, printer, cable box, and cellphone charger. “As a country we pay $1 billion a year to power our TVs and VCRs while they’re turned off,” Maria T. Vargas, a spokeswoman for the Environmental Protection Agency’s Energy Star program told the New York Times.

You don’t have to live in a constant state of fear, however, forever looking behind your back for that one appliance you forgot to pull the plug of. The easiest solution is to plug adjacent equipment into power strips with surge protectors. Just before you crawl under the safety of your covers—or before you head out to work—simply flip the switch. Happy vampire slaying!

Photo by Apple Computer

(I don’t have an iPod, but Mark’s iPod troubles inspired me to draw up this little guide to taking care of your invalid MP3 player. You can thank Mark, who runs 3R Living in Brooklyn with his wife, for the links.)

Good ol’ Murphy is always hard at work, and if he wriggles his fingers and you drop your iPod on your hard kitchen floor (or some other Machiavellian surface), you’re basically left with a very expensive paperweight or doorstop. What are your options now?

1. Throw it out
Nein! Your iPod contains toxic battery components, including lead, which will leach into landfills and poison our water table, generally bringing about misery and gnashing of teeth for all. Just don’t do it. Electronic waste needs to be disposed of by professionals who know what they’re doing, i.e., not you or me. Now back away from that trash can, with your hands where I can see ‘em.

2. Get it fixed
In our massively disposable-loving society, it’s often far cheaper to purchase a replacement rather than fix something that’s busted. Manufacturing an iPod from scratch consumes far more energy, fossil fuel, and resources, however, than merely spiffing up an iPod that can still be restored. If you want to do right by our one-and-only planet, check out iPodMods, which offers a free diagnostic testing service—you just have to pay for shipping—to figure out whether your little white box is truly toast, or if it has the potential to rise from the ashes anew. A certified technician will contact you with a repair quote 24 to 48 hours after the company receives your iPod. If you’re happy with the price, iPodMod’s crack team will get right on it. If what they quote has one too many zeroes, you can sell it to the company for salvageable parts.

(Also, if you have a head for tinkering with electronic innards, you may be able to fix it yourself like this dude did.)

3. Recycle it
After hearing a lot of kvetching from environmentalists, Apple announced a free iPod take-back and recycling program for anyone in the U.S. The company will dispose of your iPod in an environmentally friendly manner, plus give you a 10 percent discount on a new iPod. Bonus! (Check out option 2 first, though.)

Never start a blog right before the holidays. You’ll spend most of the winter break suspended 3,000 miles away from home, hearth, and computer, while the one or two readers you’ve picked up on the way write you off as a flaky no-show. When you do return, you’ll get so wrapped up in validating your XHTML that you lose track of time, much to the consternation of your husband and cat—alas, my desktop is in the master suite—who pad off peevishly into the living room for some peace and shut-eye. (I soon guiltily powered down and urged the somnolent duo into bed, however.)

Did you know that the “target” attribute is no longer standards-compliant? I sure didn’t, but then I’ve been stuck in HTML 4.01 Transitional for who knows how long, and I had to suppress my reflex to throw in a table or two to get things aligned. My style sheets could still do with some tidying up, but that’s a whole other marriage-threatening, after-hours project.